I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
whose parrot is this?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
