You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
