at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
