Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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