hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize