I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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