Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
