Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
