I want to have your abortion
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
