Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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