And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
