I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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