I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
