Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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