I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
