So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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