I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Actions speak louder than pants.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
