I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
