Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
