So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
