I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
