I hate all girls vehemently.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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