So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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