you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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