Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Bring me that man meat
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
