So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
