It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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