She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
