Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
