I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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