it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
