Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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