In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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