Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
