im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
