Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
