so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You ate ashes out of my bong
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
