I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
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