doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
