Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
