so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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