oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
