Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
