He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
