Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
