but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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