i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
