Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
