Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
