he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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