That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
